What's the deal with Bo?

25 Mar 2012

Dear one,

I don't like reading self-help books and certainly, I don't buy them for myself. I think they're a waste of time and money - because they contain material that the reader has known all his/her life; in short, plain commonsensical pieces of advice, that won't work unless the reader takes action himself/herself. I had only read Rick Warren's The Purpose-Driven Life because I got it as a high school graduation gift. As for Bo Sanchez books, they just weren't my cup of tea.

So I was a bit hesitant about reading "How to Find Your One True Love". But to humor my SFC household members, I decided to read the copy that Gelai lent me. And boy, was I amused greatly! As I had mentioned to Gelai, even if I don't get to "find [my] one true love" because of this book, I was still grateful to her for lending it to me; I had absolute fun reading it for a week.

I was embarrassed to be caught reading it in public places, though. That was why I covered it with a gift wrapper. Hahahaha. Come on! One look at the cover of that book is enough for other people to tag me under the "single and desperate" category. I'm not exactly of the desperate kind. I'm more the exasperated kind most of the time - exasperated by the fact that there doesn't seem to be something so wrong about me but there doesn't seem to be anything so right about me and hence, this perpetual state of singlehood.

Ok, so maybe I was also feeling desperate in my search for you that I did end up reading this book. As I had expected, the book contained practical advice, albeit radical. In a way, it validated some steps that I have already done (Flirtsome, anyone?). Sans the footnote advertisements which irritates me, I must say the book is good. One highlight of the book is Bo's take on the proverbial checklist. He advises to create three lists - the seven-item non-negotiables (mine matches his, almost to a T), and the must-have and must-never-have lists which must have 10 items each.

Seven years ago, I had created a requirements specification checklist with 25 items and I'm reproducing the list below. Item #s 11 and 23 fit into Bo's non-negotiable #1. Item #20 fits non-negotiable #3. Amazing, how I was somehow already subscribed to Bo's One True Love philosophy even before I had read his book.

However, my 25-item list had changed over the years. I've consolidated most of the items and overall, have simplified the criteria. In other words, I have "realistified" the criteria, or so I thought. My new item #2 seems to be the hardest criterion to fit into.

Sigh. I don't know. Should I really force myself to meet and talk to three single guys each week? That's 12 guys in a month, 144 guys in a year. But there aren't that many SINGLE guys in this country!

Seriously, I think I need to migrate somewhere else to find you.


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Year 2005

1. someone who will take care of me (for a change)
2. someone who is actually concerned about me
3. someone to whom I mean something beyond the benefits of having me around
4. someone with whom I feel safe
5. someone who is honest and open to me about almost anything
6. someone with whom I can share a wholesome and meaningful conversation
7. someone who can make me laugh and smile, who can laugh at himself and who can laugh with me
8. someone who can read through me and know, at least, when I am not okay
9. someone who knows how to say I'm sorry
10. someone who knows what I don't like and tries hard not to be that or to do them
11. someone who is responsible for himself
12. someone to whom I can trust my life with
13. someone who always makes an effort to go beyond what is called for
14. someone who fulfills his duties and promises even if he is angry, displeased or hurt
15. someone who will tell me: "You are wrong, you made a mistake but it doesn't matter, I care for you anyway"
16. someone who knows what to say at the right time and says it
17. someone who I can be proud of, not just because he is smart or handsome or rich but because he is beyond these surface characteristics and he is more than just these
18. someone who is sensitive to what I can mean with my words
19. someone who is never petty
20. someone who is self-sufficient, who is not insecure and is not the type to say: I can't live without you; I'd rather hear him say: I can no longer imagine a life without you
21. someone who dreams and plans his life with me in it
22. someone who is thoughtful, is always considerate and is always generous of himself, in every sense of these adjectives
23. someone who is self-motivated and disciplined and who has a direction in life
24. someone to whom a NO is a NO and a YES a YES but after considering and weighing all options and consequences
25. finally, someone who shares my faith in God

Year 2012

1. someone who is family-oriented
2. someone who is Catholic (yes, specifically, Catholic) and shares the same, if not the higher, degree of faith maturity as I have
3. someone who is older
4. someone who is Filipino and speaks the same language as mine
5. someone who has less insecurities than I have

Me? A housewife?

18 Mar 2012

Dear one,

After quite a long while, I finally got my stay-at-home Sunday today. I was planning to spend the day cooking lasagna (for the second time) and making leche flan (my first time to try baking it instead of steaming it since we don't have a steamer here). But Circe had been really bugging me for cupcakes so I decided to make leche flan and bake cupcakes instead.

For this second attempt at cupcake-baking, I tried the more simple one of two cinnamon frosting recipes I had found in the Internet. The procedure was different from making the milk chocolate frosting which I did the first time; this time, I had to "cream butter, vanilla and cinnamon" and I wasn't even sure whether I did the creaming properly but I guess I did, because the result is successful. Yahoo!

So now I can proudly say that I can already make two types of cupcakes. :D

Milk chocolate-frosted vanilla cupcakes

Panda cinnamon cupcakes

As for the leche flan, it was another success. =) For Ben to say it was delicious means the leche flan was really good. (You see, he doesn't like desserts and sweets that much.)

I can't believe I'm enjoying cooking and baking this much, so much that it actually popped in my head that I want to become a housewife.

Whoa! I wanted to tell my self: Stop right there and hold that thought! Me? A housewife? Seriously?

What comes to mind is a conversation I had with my father when I was in my early teens, headstrong and defiant.

Tatay: Mag-aral kang magluto para pag nag-asawa ka.
Me: Wag na. Kukuha kaming katulong.
Tatay: E pano pag naglambing yung asawa mo?
Me: Bahala sya!

My father would have a good laugh at me now because I did end up learning to cook (and bake). But I bet he would be pleased - I know my dad; at the core, he has remained the stereotypical husband, the one who likes being taken cared of by the wife. For the strong will and toughness that my mother seemed to have over my father, I would have thought (and other people would have assumed) I'd be the same. In some ways, I am but the funny thing is, in most ways, I am not.

Dear, I know I'd be the wife who will argue a lot but will submit to your better judgment anyway. That, I suppose, is the challenge for you - the challenge to make the better judgment calls. I know God is preparing you for that in the same way that He is preparing me to become the wife who lovingly (if not exactly quietly) supports you in the background.

While I pray that I may meet you soon, I also pray that I may become the good wife that your are praying for, too.

I miss you, dear one.