#throwback2014

Dear one, 

2014 was kind of a lull year for me. Except for some little excitements here and there, there was neither anything particularly unforgettable nor regrettable about it - which is fine by me, really, because I'd rather have my quiet, peaceful life than a stressful exciting one. It goes with age, I guess; I'm already at that age number that marks the end of a calendar month. Yes, it's 31, honey. LOL.

So what were the highlights of my 2014 then?

Maleta Girl adventures

Of course, no year would pass by without even a single Maleta Girl adventure in some part of the world. At least for the last four years, I've been able to travel quite a bit.

In 2014, I've been to Siem Reap, Seoul, Tokyo, Kyoto, Johor Bahru, London, Edinburgh, Yangon, Gold Coast, Sydney and Melbourne. 

Extended weekends in Myanmar, Malaysia and Cambodia

South Korea instantly became my new favorite country. It wasn't a case of love at first sight. Instead, it was exactly how Savage Garden had described it in one of their songs: "I knew I loved you before I met you." I've been planning my rendezvous with Korea ever since I had finished that drama series Full House.

Spring in Korea and Japan

That time, I could barely make ends meet with my monthly salary. About five years after, I finally stepped on Gangnam land and I loved everything I saw of it - from the cheap thrills of tteokbokki and odeng to the meal staple kimchi to the expensive samgyeopsal; from the food shop aunties who knew no word of English but still managed to be warm and accommodating to the lively Myeongdong which, regardless if it is day or night, has something for everyone who wanders its streets; and, from the Joseon history that Gyeongbokgung and Changdeokgung palaces stand for to the contemporary romance of Nami Island that even non-KDrama fans should not miss. K-Pop may just be the only thing that differentiates me from my Korea-obsessed Unni, Circe. That, and the Samsung phone (with a Hangeul keypad) she owns, because I'm an iPhone girl, through and through.

Then, as you know, Australia has always been my favorite since 2011 so much so that I've been to some of its cities a few times. This 2014 was my third trip to Melbourne. Instead of going on complete holiday mode, I volunteered to work from our office there. For a week, I was feeling like one of the Aussie corporate men and women walking along Collins Street with the very cold spring breeze blowing on my face. However, that slice of Aussie life experience wasn't quite authentic because I wasn't earning Aussie dollars and I wasn't paying rent, utility bills and food. Thanks to Daisie and Faebs who were so generous to me like I was family. They did not just let me stay in their lovely apartment in the city for free; they treated me to meals at the best restaurants, too.

My almost-summer in Australia

Unlike Sydney that I had to visit a second time in order to like the place, I've always liked Melbourne. It's just that I've never really considered it a city I would like to move to until this year's trip. Daisie and Faebs's apartment is right smack in the middle of the central business district but even there, life didn't look so hurried. I know I wasn't cut out for a life in the rural areas where the only sounds at night were those of the crickets. Melbourne sort of fits the bill of a place that can give me the quiet life that I want without compromising the city feel. Unfortunately, I don't have work opportunities in Australia so migrating to the Land Down Under is still not an option anytime soon.

And then there's that totally unplanned trip to United Kingdom. Had Ben not gone on his business trip, London and Edinburgh wouldn't have been ticked off in my bucket list, at least not for a very long while.

I've been to some other European cities before and in my opinion, London looks similar to them. It was only when I was watching the Buckingham Palace Change of Guards ceremony that I felt that "Oh my God, I am really in London!" moment.

Summer in United Kingdom 

If Siem Reap gave me an overdose of temple ruins, UK overwhelmed me with palaces and castles - Tower of London and Buckingham Palace in England, Edinburgh and Stirling Castles and the Palace of Holyrood House in Scotland.

Then how can I miss the ultimate Harry Potter fan's dream - the Warner Bros. Studio Tour? If you've loved the movies as much as I did, you would love being inside that studio; it's the next best thing to starring in the movies itself. The butterbeer was expensive but what the heck, I bought myself a glass.

Travels with Lizlie

You know what they say that whatever you're doing at the start of a new year, you'd be doing for the rest of the year. Well, the first person I met up with on the first day of 2014 was Lizlie. We attended mass and had brunch. True enough, for the most part of 2014, I was attending Sunday masses with Lizlie, dining out with Lizlie, going to the gym with Lizlie, watching movies and musicals with Lizlie, dragging Lizlie to SFC activities, travelling with Lizlie.

Everyone who knows me knew that Circe and I are the travel buddies with last year's not-quite-meeting-our-expectations-but-hey-we-still-had-fun Japan trip being our sixth one together since our trip to Australia. But in 2014, Lizlie was also bitten by the travel bug. Okay, okay, maybe I did have a hand on it and had influenced a new travel buddy to book flights here and there.

Travelling with someone did allow you to get to know him/her in different contexts. The Lizlie who looked awkward in out-of-the-box picture poses is the same Lizlie who agilely climbed the slopes of Kbal Spean in Cambodia and fearlessly descended one of the Three Sisters peaks in Australia. The Lizlie who was game to do just about anything in a trip turns prima donna when presented with less than immaculate white bed sheets and towels in hotel rooms. And this Lizlie who, I found out, was even more directionally-challenged on land than I am is at her best at sea; she can paddle a kayak effortlessly and swim like a fish.    

Where to next, buddy?

For 2015, we're already planning for our next trip - her first and my return visit to South Korea. Oh, and have I mentioned we will be housemates starting next month? I wonder what it would be like to have her around practically all the time. She did promise she'll be a good dishwasher so that should be a good thing, right? Hahaha.

From wedding receptions to Christening parties

Three couple friends got married in 2014. I was able to attend the Yurags' wedding in Metro Manila (for which yours truly was a first-time bridesmaid) and the Bercansils' in Tagaytay (which was another one of my stints as a wedding reception singer - my first time to sing for a newlyweds' first dance.). I missed the Tio-Tamesis wedding day, though (Sorry, Rhea and Noriel!).

Whether it's good news or bad news that I only got invited to three weddings last year, I don't know. Maybe it's just but natural that by this time, my closest friends have all been married already. Finally! Now can we all move on with our lives, please? LOL!

For 2015, I see a new trend emerging - two girl friends have already asked me to be ninang to their daughters who will be born this year.

#dearFutureGG

"Ineng, sana'y sa susunod ay maimbitahan mo naman kami sa handaang mas mahaba ang lamesa," one of my mother's friends told me at our housewarming party last August. I immediately understood what she meant. In our province, long tables were used at wedding receptions. I politely replied with a smile, "Sige po, pag meron na ay di imbitado po kayo. Kaso'y wala pa eh."

Like most perennially single women of my age, I hated any allusions to my relationship status, or the non-existence of it. But in 2014, I've learned to live with having to listen to, on several different occasions - wedding receptions, parties and meet-ups with friends - the variety of these statements that all point to the same piece of advice - Get married! As much as I would want to follow the advice from the alliance of concerned citizens which thankfully, does not include my parents, there is just no one to get married to. Hahaha.

I did meet someone last year but as my usual luck with these things would have it, it turned out he wasn't you, dear one. 

A few of my closest friends couldn't take it that it, whatever it was, did not push through. One of them was arguing that I was cruel and I didn't give him enough chances. Another was aghast - The guy didn't look bad; why were you being choosy?!

The guy didn't just "did not look bad"; in fact, he looked like an actor I was crushing on for a long time. So something must be seriously wrong with my head, right? LOL. It isn't true that I did not give him, or whatever it was that was there, a chance - I gave him/it many chances, actually. But yes, it is true that I was being choosy.

If there was one significant thing that I gained in 2014, it was the understanding that if I would be single for life, it was only logical. That I will, perhaps, never get married was not because I didn't put myself out there enough nor because I was nasty to men in general but because I did become choosy over the years. Two heartbreaks, the happy love stories and the heartbreaks of other people and the last three decades have made me realized what I want and did not want in a relationship and what I deserve and did not deserve from people. The years have also made me choosy with the people I dedicate my time and effort to. At 31, it is harder to compromise when I've learned to want so many things for myself too.

When the year 2013 ended, I prayed for two things for 2014: first, faith in God that the best of things will happen at the best time; and, second, love in whatever form, that I could feel and appreciate. I think both my prayers had been answered. It was a fact that I was loved, for how else would I have survived all this time if not for the love of God and the love of family and friends? But I was loved differently and it takes a different perspective in life to see and accept that - a perspective that somehow I finally got in 2014.

Now, what about 2015?

I guess I'm praying for financial blessings so that I can finish paying off the mortgage for the house and so that I can set up a source of passive income for my self. Definitely, I am praying for my health and safety and the health and safety of every person dear to me, most especially my family.

Definitely my GG - that, I can never be wrong about

Lastly, I pray for my own discernment of vocation. I have asked God to take away every bit of hope and longing I might have for you - if a life with you is not what He wills for me. I want to be able to finally put aside those letters to #dearFutureGG. It was one thing to understand the logic behind my being single for life is, but only my full acceptance of it can make the happiest version of me.

I will still be blogging and I hope not to neglect my writing again this year. But, dear one, this could well be my last letter to you.      

Mr. Perfect, Mr. Unreachable & Miss Heartless

Dear one,

There are two men in my life. And for the first time in a long time, they are actually for real.

Guy #1 is an Adam Levine-lookalike I see at the gym every Monday, Tuesday and Saturday. Most of the time, he would be lifting weights a few feet from the group exercise studio where I'm usually attending dance classes. Sometimes, he would look through the glass door of the studio and I'd be all flustered and miss a step in the dance combination. Nope, the guy wasn't even looking at me but the thought that he might see me could make me so self-conscious like a high school teenager. You can just imagine my reaction when once I found myself alone in the elevator with him. It took all of my best effort not to faint. Hahaha.

Months have passed yet I still don't know his name. And months will pass, but I know I will never know his name. He is out of my league anyway. Mr. Unreachable - that he will remain to be.

On the other hand, guy #2 is someone I came to know through the Singles for Christ (SFC) community. Smart, sensible, mature, organized, responsible and hardworking, a self-made man with an amazing faith in the Lord - he fits my checklist to a tee. Plus, he is not bad-looking too. Like that line from a pop song, "nasa [kanya] na ang lahat". But while Daniel Padilla can say, "pati ang puso ko", I can't say the same. Exactly because he is perfect, Mr. Perfect is not perfect for me. No, not for my type of crazy and certainly, not for my brand of bitchy.

Mr. Perfect and Mr. Unreachable, I like them both. I like how they exist in my life - away from it. And maybe I prefer to keep them there where they will never be capable of hurting me, like some sort of defense mechanism I had developed unconsciously over time.

A few friends in SFC had been asking me every now and then if I have been praying for a boyfriend. In all honesty, I reply with a No. I just don't think I even have the brain cells to allocate for a lovelife or any semblance of it. A lot of stuff going on at the office, the general lack of job security for foreigners in Singapore, the loan I have to pay for 12 months more, a sick brother and parents growing old and sickly, and, the Christian Life Program (CLP) at CANA and all other responsibilities/activities in SFC, the only reprieve I get from all of these is the time I spend at the gym.

And lately, I have to admit that I've almost completely lost interest in meeting new people. Before you judge me of being a snob, for the record, the only guys who I have met or have tried to meet up with me can only be classified into four groups:

1. Boring - All the guy does is greet in the morning, ask if I've eaten breakfast, lunch and dinner and bid me good night. My mother's rants are more exciting than that. And mind you, she rants about the same things all the time.
2. Not too interested - The guy would enthusiastically chat with me today and send me a message again after two weeks or after a month. Then there are others who would ask me questions they had already asked the day or the week before and which I had already answered. If a guy doesn't have time to pay attention then why would I allocate time for him at all, right?
3. Too interested - The guy will compliment everything about me from head to toe. Then he will ask to meet up - at 1:00 AM. There can be no doubt as to what he is too interested in, really.
4. "Showbiz" - The guy will flirt through every form of social media networking and make it appear to the public that he's interested and all but in truth, he's only capable of press releases like what showbiz personalities are wont to do. 

For the last five years, I've lived my life in a state of constant pressure, sadness and despair because I didn't have a lovelife. Then suddenly, I found myself at this point of being indifferent about this whole thing. A 180-degree turn, from wanting so much to get married that I have planned out (almost) all the details of my dream wedding, I now have doubts on whether I still actually want to get married. From wanting so much to get married so that I can have kids, I am now seeing mostly the hassle of having kids. I mean, I don't hate kids - I love kids but if they're my kids and they throw tantrums, I can't just hand them over to another person for crisis management, can I? LOL.

I read John Green's The Fault in Our Stars and it didn't make me cry at all. Lizlie was flabbergasted, "Bakit hindi ka naiyak? Heartless ka!" To humor her, I'm reading another one of her love story recommendations, Rainbow Rowell's Eleanor & Park, though I seriously doubt this can pull me back into an I-want-to-fall-in-love state of mind (or heart).

Because frankly, I have forgotten what it is like and I have forgotten why and how.

I realized this fact when I saw Apaule's photo in Instagram last week. Judging from her tear-stricken face, I knew Gerald had left for Singapore that day and she has been separated from her husband again. Why does she cry every time? She must really be sad. Why does it have to be so sad?

A sadness and pining for a person that never gets old that I will always cry every single time that we get separated from each other even if it has been more than a hundred times - Will I ever be capable of feeling that way for another person? The last time I cried about someone was almost four years ago. I know I was very sad then but I can't feel that sadness anymore. And I don't know if I can feel that much for anyone again. I guess Lizlie is right - I have become heartless.

But I believe in love - I still do. In theory, I know it must be something wonderful and

beautiful. Then again, knowing is one thing; actually feeling it is another. The latter, well, I have lost it. And ironically, I feel happier. Is that bad? 

The King and I

When a girl is about 12 years old, she will receive love letters from a 12-year-old admirer or two. When she is 16, some boy would invite her to dance with him at the prom. On her 18th birthday, she will have a debut party where she will be dressed in a pretty gown and she'll be dancing with 18 bachelors and honored by 18 of her closest girl friends.

Every now and then, a guy will be so smitten with her, promise her the moon and the stars, whilst showering her with gifts - flowers, chocolates, stuffed toys. Gentlemen will open the door for her, give up their seats in crowded buses and trains and carry her bags and things. And when she cries, a man will hand her his well-pressed handkerchief for her to wipe away the tears.

Ah. The life of a woman. In many ways, it is almost like the life of a princess. Not all women will have experienced all of that but you would think every woman will at least experience a little of that.

Not me, dear one. I've never experienced any of that.

I was a wallflower at high school dances, a Miss Average Plain Jane all throughout college and a nobody in the office. No debut party at 18 (not even at 30), no flowers and sweet things, no special treatment anywhere.

I do my own homework. I do my own shopping and carry my own bags. I squeeze myself in jeepneys and I stand in the crowded bus and train, side by side with the men. I travel to Europe on my own.

When I need to get something done or fixed, I do it myself or find a hired help by myself. When I need to be somewhere, I commute on my own or find a way to hitch myself a ride.  Whenever I get sick, I take myself to the doctor and when I had the chicken pox and the flu, I nursed myself back to health. Whatever I would need or want, I get them for myself.

In short, I solve my own problems. I solve other people's problems too. And when I don't know what to do, well, I have to know what to do all the time.

"Lord, what about me?"

For years, I've wondered and asked God: "Lord, why do I have to do everything for myself? Why am I not like those other girls and women? Didn't I deserve the same? Didn't I deserve a bouquet of roses too? You are God. Surely, these things You can give to me in a snap."

But as you would have expected, God doesn't operate based on the challenges and threats a human being pose before Him. He isn't God for nothing, you know. For years, He kept quiet. Or so I thought.

In June last year, I attended the Princess Diaries (PD) weekend retreat. Reluctantly.

I had hesitations about attending the retreat in much the same way that I always have hesitations about reading self-help books. I don't like self-help books for two reasons: (1) What these books contain is common-sense knowledge that I already know; and, (2) The formulas in these books don't work unless I work on myself. Therefore, I think self-help books are overrated. And, in my mind, so was the PD retreat.

The PD retreat is basically about how every woman is God's precious princess. If you ask me the details of the retreat talks now, I wouldn't be able to tell you anything. I really don't remember much of it. I certainly didn't feel much like a princess for the most part of my life. One weekend didn't change that. The eight months that followed did.

Not less, only different

One afternoon of no particular significance, two realizations finally hit me. First, I was God's child, albeit loved differently. For many years too, I've struggled with jealousy for what I thought was my parents' preferential treatment for my younger brother. I had thought my parents gave him an easy time - he got new toys often and new schoolbooks and stuff, he had bigger weekly allowance, he picked on me and got away with it, he had his own way pretty much all the time.

With me, on the other hand, it was different. I had one Barbie doll and one play kitchen set and shared all other toys with the brother. I used borrowed schoolbooks and recycled old notebooks. I lived with my weekly allowance (I can't remember a time when I asked my parents for extra.). I finished all my homework and made sure I knew all my lessons because my mother wouldn't let me get away without a scolding if I didn't manage to answer all her review questions. I went home on time because I knew I had to be home on time. I did everything as told because I felt I was expected to do so or else there were consequences.

Years later, I would realize that my parents were strict with me not because they loved me less but because they loved me differently. Somehow, the way they had loved me prepared me for what my life would become today - a life of independence that entailed a lot of self-discipline.

In much the same way, Father God loved me differently too. He gave me a good college education but I had to study hard to keep the scholarship. He gave me good-paying jobs but I had to work hard on them. He took me to see beautiful places around the world but I had to save up for the trips. What He could not make me hear from Him in prayer, He taught me as He fulfilled my dreams, one by one. His lesson: patience and faith - that none of my hard work was for naught, everything will happen at the right time - not necessarily my time - and that I only had to trust in Him.

What makes a princess a princess

The second realization I had was that I was a princess because my Father God is King, not because I had a prince charming by my side or a knight-in-shining armor coming to my rescue.

"For He will give His angels charge concerning you, to guard you in all your ways. They will bear you up in their hands, that you do not strike your foot against a stone." (Psalm 91:11-12) In the years I've lived away from home before I even turned 18, I have come to know that I've always been kept safe by the grace of God. I have travelled as far as Europe alone but not a pickpocket nor a petty thief had managed to harm me in any way. Even in the most desperate of situations like getting sick with chicken pox in a foreign land, racing time to catch a flight, losing my job or missing my train stop in Germany in the middle of the night, I have only received kindness from friends and strangers. Who needs rescuing when my Father God has always got me shielded by His armor of protection?

The perfect date

Say it with flowers

A serenade, a bouquet of peach roses, a lovely dinner and a walk under the moonlight - that is what I'd call a proper date. But while no prince charming has ever done that for me, no less than His Majesty, the King has.

He has serenaded me with not just one song but with many musicals, "My Fair Lady", "Starlight Express", "Cinderella", "Annie", "The Sound of Music", "Wicked" and "Phantom of the Opera", among others. In the picturesque town of Heidelberg, He showered the roads I walked on with the loveliest of flowers. He took me to lovely dinners in the most romantic places. I could never have imagined walking under the moonlight in Paris, trekking up Montserrat and the tower of Cathedrale de Notre Dame, marvelling at the lush green of Batanes mountains, the pristine shores of Puerto Princesa and Caramoan, the magnificence of the Sydney Opera House, the quaintness of Fremantle and Salzburg, the old grandeur of Schloss Heidelberg, the mystery of Angkor Wat and the solemnity of St. Peter's Basilica.

The way to a woman's heart

How sweet it is to be loved by You!

Each time, He calls: "Arise, my darling, my beautiful one, and come with me. See! The winter is past; the rains are over and gone. Flowers appear on the earth; the season of singing has come, the cooing of doves is heard in our land. The fig tree forms its early fruit; the blossoming vines spread their fragrance. Arise, come, my darling; my beautiful one, come with me." (Song of Songs 2:10-13)

And as if He has not already taken her to the best dates ever, the King gave this princess a castle of her own.

God's gift

A house. My house. Can you believe it, dear one?

When it finally sunk in that I did receive this blessing, I was in tears. My mother was in tears too; she remembered how, back in those days, my father and she had struggled with their finances to have the modest family house built part by part. Now we have a fully constructed house, just waiting and ready to be made into a home.

There's still the furniture and the appliances and the mortgage to worry about. However, with all that God has already provided for me, how can I still doubt that even those will be provided for in due time?

When told of the news about the house, my closest friends say the same thing with that same knowing smile that has become oh so familiar to me: "Isa na lang talaga ang kulang" to which I would laughingly reply: "Oo nga eh."

But really, our faithful God's provision is always enough. Walang kulang. Anybody else who comes along is a bonus to a cup that is already overflowing.

Because my Father is a King

One lucky day

Four days ago, I was telling JM that I haven't seen him since September 8, 2012 to which he had replied, in the typical JM way: "Well, Geebee, Sunday is your lucky day."

Was it?

Remember that line from an old popular softdrinks TV ad? "Bridesmaid ka lang!" That line was what echoed in my head this afternoon. True, I was a bridesmaid in this wedding. Only a bridesmaid, not the maid of honor, but I was faced with the prospect of being the only female in the bridal entourage who will have to walk down the aisle alone. My partner groomsman was nowhere to be found.

No, JM, this Sunday wasn't turning out to be my lucky day. Instead, it was becoming more like a disheartening foreshadowing of my future - alone. Right there and then, I wanted to cry for all the aisles and paths and roads that I will ever walk on by myself. If not for the mascara that I didn't want dripping down my cheeks, I really would have cried.

Thankfully, logic eventually prevailed. I realized: This wasn't my moment; this was Apaule's moment. If I should be crying because of anything, it should only be because I was overwhelmed with happiness for her and Gerald. Yes, there will be many aisles and paths and roads that I will walk on alone but if I can't make it past this church aisle, how will I expect to survive those on my own? Kaya ko 'to!

And just when I was mulling this over, the cute little Bible bearer walked over to my side, whispered, "You look pretty", and took my hand. Who can resist such a sincere offer? I didn't have to walk on alone after all.

The cutest escort

I still did cry today, though. As expected. 

A bride's first love forever

I cried when I saw the father of the bride struggle to walk his daughter down the aisle. It must have been a bout with stroke that caused his difficulty with walking - I really didn't know. That touching father-daughter moment caught me by surprise. Before I realized it, I was already in tears. 

I guess what I saw was my mother, who can no longer walk without assistance, in that same situation on my own wedding day. I know she wouldn't miss it for the world. Arm and arm with my father, the three of us would walk side by side to the altar. Or at least, that's how I wish it to be like. Then again, only God knows if that will actually happen. 

ILHB

Heartwarming and true and beautiful. There was certainly no other way to describe Gerald and Apaule's wedding. For their family and closest friends who have witnessed their love story through the years, they know - and I know - Gerald's and Apaule's radiant smiles were the smiles of two genuinely happy people.

Cynics may say weddings are only for show. Well, yes, these two people were out to show the world how happy they were to stand before the only third party in their love affair - God. Eyes wet with tears, Gerald and Apaule promised a lifetime of love for each other. In this age of "LOL", "HHWW", "TFTFZ" and "YOLO", theirs is "ILHB". Ikaw lamang habang buhay. Hearing that, I think everyone in the church breathed out a collective "Awwww..."

#AlwaysATeamOfThree

Unrequited love may have hurt me once, twice, in the past but #GADestinationForever - and all love stories like this - will always make me believe that one lucky day, when the stars align, my own love story will begin.

Fair game

My luck in the bachelorettes' game finally ran out when Ate Rose managed to snatch the darn eggplant before I did. Boy, she sure was fast! All the other single ladies in that game were fast. Oh, they were not just fast. They were tough, too. The way they accidentally stepped on toes and hit each other's faces, you'd think it was gold they were vying for. Hilarious! 

And I mean no offense to the gentleman holding the eggplant. I know for a fact that he is a golden catch. (Naks. I do expect to be paid handsomely for doing PR for this guy. LOL.)

Ladies, what's the fuss about? :P

Well, as they say, all is fair in love and war and eggplants. So because I lost in the game, I had to be a good sport and join this bridal garter wedding tradition. You know the deal.

No, JM, Sunday wasn't my lucky day. But you know what? I think it was yours. Hahaha.

P.S. Apparently, on his way to the church, the aforementioned groomsman got apprehended by a traffic cop for making a wrong U-turn. He had apologized profusely for being MIA and had made amends by choreographing our "grand" entrance at the wedding reception. All's well that ends well. :)

Best wishes, Engr. & Mrs. Gerald and Apaule Yurag!

That New Year post

Dear one,

The last day of the year would always bring with it mixed feelings for me - nostalgia, pride, regret and hope, among others.

There's always that bit of nostalgia for something that wasn't perfect but was a good ride anyway - and it's ending soon. In fact, it is ending today. 2013 was an up-and-down kind of year. Then again, what's new? Life will always be like that - one great rollercoaster ride. 

The year started good; I was slowly adjusting into the new job that I got during the last month of 2012.

Then, in March and in April, I had to say goodbye to two members of my household in Singles for Christ (SFC). Liz and Gelai chose to go back to the Philippines for good. But everything did turn out well for both of them; Liz is now busy managing her own business while Gelai is back to the profession she loves best: teaching.

In May, my mother got bedridden again due to her bone fracture. She did manage to regain her physical capabilities. Apart from the back brace she now has to wear and that she has to be assisted when she walks, she looks pretty back to normal. She does complain of being easily tired these days. On the other hand, my father got diagnosed with kidney stones and so was my brother. All of these were on top of the hypertension that all three of them have had for as long as I can remember. 2013 left my family with one sole healthy adult: me. Tough luck. The thought of the responsibility jolted me to mature by at least five more years.

I turned 30 in August (and I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing. Hahaha.) sans the bells and whistles which I would have to admit was a bit of a disappointment for me. Have I told you before that I didn't have a grandiose debut party when I turned 18? I guess I was expecting this birthday would have been my second chance. But I suppose some girls are just never meant for such things. Nevertheless, I am thankful to the family and friends who had remembered me and had celebrated with me, especially Circe and Marco who had indulged all my midlife crisis drama in Taipei on the eve of my birthday.

The year 2013 also leaves behind a sense of pride and accomplishment for me. I went on my first solo trip to four cities in Europe: Barcelona, Madrid, Frankfurt and Heidelberg (technically, five cities, if I count Kassel-Wilhemshöhe where I got lost in the middle of the night.). In retrospect, I'd say going solo wasn't as difficult or as lonesome as I had imagined it to be. You know what the most difficult thing about it is? Taking photos of my self. But that's what the reverse camera function of the iPhone is for, anyway. And every now and then, I would request fellow tourists to take my photo.

In all honesty, I could say I had enjoyed the solo trip experience - except perhaps that night that I got lost. Then again, I don't think I want to do it again anytime soon. For now, it's enough that I know it wasn't impossible. I can make it alone - on my own.

2013 was also a year of fab and glam as I discovered (finally) the wonders of make-up. Sorry, let me rephrase that. What I did discover was that make-up did wonders for me. See? ^_^ 

All thanks to my favorite make-up artists, Liz and En

Good old Frankie said, "Regrets, I've had a few but then again..." I don't know. I guess my only regret this year was accommodating the wrong sort of people. Just over the last six months, I've met quite a number of undesirable characters. And no, most of them were not undesirable because they were ugly. Some of those I've met have unfairly misjudged me. In most other cases, they were only after one thing from me, if you get what I mean.

You do know how I much I hate wasting my time. Sometimes, I wonder why then am I still wasting my time looking for you. Just so you know, this search is not easy. It has, oftentimes, almost drained me of all my self-esteem in 2013. Even then, I simply couldn't banish that last flicker of hope that somewhere in this planet called Earth, you do exist.

For 2014, I prayed for only two things: first, faith in God that the best of things will happen at the best time; and, second, love - love, in whatever form, that I can feel and appreciate. Because if there's one thing I've realized in 2013, it's that maybe, just maybe, I wasn't exactly looking for you. I was - I still am - looking for love.

Cheers to the year ahead of us. Happy New Year, dear one.

On the other side

26 Nov 2013

Dear one,

While I wait for you, I'll work on my dreams one by one. And I'll travel the world. Because life has to go on; it doesn't stop for me. And because I want to be happy too.

I've made mistakes. I'll make mistakes. But I'm still trying to save the best version of me for you.

I don't know if I'll ever meet you in this lifetime; maybe not. If I don't, then I'll just see you on the other side.

Hong Kong: Beyond Disneyland and the shopping

08 Nov 2013

Dear one,

Bali, Phuket, Johor Bahru, Kuala Lumpur (KL), Ho Chi Minh, Malacca, Bintan, Macau, Hong Kong - I've been around Asia. Yet I've never been to any of these places more than once except for KL and last weekend, Hong Kong. But while the second trip to KL with my family who were visiting Singapore that time was customary, this second trip to Hong Kong was something I have been planning to make because of some unfinished business: one, the fireworks at Disneyland that I have not seen; and two, the dolphins and pandas at Ocean Park.

Two years after my first trip, I finally found the perfectly priced air ticket and the perfect timing, a three-day weekend, to visit Hong Kong once again.

The happiest place on earth

A couple of my friends had told me that the Disneyland fireworks display is a must-see. Hence, this time around, I stayed until park closing to see it for myself.

All-time favorite Disney movie theme songs played while colorful fireworks graced the sky just above the Sleeping Beauty Castle. But the fireworks weren't dancing to the tune of the music so that was a bit of a disappointment for me. In many ways, Singapore's Songs of the Sea at Sentosa has set the bar in terms of pyrotechnics spectacles - at least for me, that is. Nonetheless, Disney in the Stars fireworks was a magical ending befitting a whole day at "the happiest place on earth."

The "happiest place on earth" turned out to be a tiresome place on earth too. It, being a Sunday, queues to the rides and attractions were unbelievably long. Even a very boring kiddie ride like The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh had a very long queue with a waiting time of 45 minutes. (Seriously?!?) The only two rides that I had the patience to line up for were It's a Small World and the Jungle River Cruise. And for the second time, I watched the shows: Festival of the Lion King (a concise version of the movie), Mickey's PhilharMagic (a 3D animated show) and The Golden Mickeys (Disneyland's fun version of the Golden Globe awards). Of the three, the Lion King show is still my favorite; I think the quality of this show may even rival that of the musical theater production. Another first for me to see was the Flights of Fantasy Parade which was a parade of almost all, if not all, of Disney's well-loved characters.

Singaporean Pooh meets Hong Konger Pooh

But of the eight hours I had spent at the theme park, this photo about sums up all the reasons why Disneyland is my happiest place on earth (next of course to whichever place on earth I am with my family). My travel buddy toy, baby Pooh, finally met its literally BIG brother from another mother.

This meeting almost did not happen because I was stuck in the Mickey Mouse photo op line when Pooh made its appearance at the Fantasy Gardens. For something as trivial as that, I actually begged to God in silent prayer that I wouldn't miss the photo op with Pooh. He didn't disappoint me! I'm a spoiled child of the Father. Hehe.

I must say Hong Kong Disneyland is not as "magical" the second time. Still, I wouldn't mind coming back again. After all, I'm always a kid at heart (and a crazy kid at that. What kind of 30-year-old in her right mind carries around a baby Pooh stuffed toy in every out-of-the-country trip? Only my kind.). Hopefully, dear one, when I come back a third, fourth, nth time, we'll have our kids in tow.

New appreciation for Hong Kong

Hong Kong is Disneyland and shopping; that was how I thought of this place ever since. It was bigger than Singapore but for some reason, I found it more crowded than the latter. So while I did consider coming back every now and then for vacation, I would never have thought I would fall in love with the place. 

Okay... Maybe love is too strong a word to describe it but my feeling of affinity and awe for Hong Kong can only be comparable to how I felt for Australia which was the only country so far that had me at hello.

Lantau Island gave me that fresh perspective on Hong Kong - a new appreciation for what this place still has to offer. This island, Tung Chung area in particular, is so much unlike Mong Kok or Tsim Sha Tsui where it was just buildings and markets and crowds and more crowds. Tung Chung does have a mall and an outlet stores mall at that - Citygate Outlets, a shopaholic's paradise. It has crowds but is not congested. It has buildings but with lots of empty spaces, too.

Even better is the fact that Tung Chung is less than an hour away by bus from nature. With a Lantau day pass, one can access the beaches, a fishing village and of course, the Tian Tan Buddha shrine. Unfortunately, I couldn't spend a whole day since I was flying back to Singapore that night. Nonetheless, I was still able to enjoy my three-hour stay at Ngong Ping.

It isn't called the Big Buddha for nothing.

When I arrived at the place, I immediately walked my way to the Buddha shrine; after all, the main objective of my day trip was to see the famous Big Buddha which was a 34-meter high bronze statue of the founder of Buddhism. And big it really is; I could only compare it to the one I saw in Phuket three years ago.

Lantau's Buddha sits atop Mount Muk Yue. Tourists and Buddhists alike have to climb several flights of stairs to see the statue up close. Above, I got a 360-degree view of the surrounding towns and other mountains/hills.

I managed to find a fellow Filipino to take my picture with the giant statue at the background so I didn't have to settle for a selfie shot. After which, I had a short talk with Buddha. Yeah, I'm a Catholic but I do talk to Buddha every time I visit a Buddhist temple or shrine (which I realized had been quite often this year). This time, the talk was mostly about Ama. I don't really know how it works in Buddhism so I just told Buddha to take care of her soul. The Catholic in me thought someone should be taking care of her in the netherworld and since she's a Buddhist, the best one to get the job done would probably be Buddha himself.

Then I went down in search of what other sights there are in Ngong Ping. Some 60 steps away from the foot of the shrine was the road to the Wisdom Path - 38 wooden columns with calligraphic inscriptions of the Heart Sutra which articulates the doctrine of emptiness.

The wisdom of the Heart

I know I am definitely coming back to Hong Kong a third time to climb all the way up to the 38th column. And when I get that chance, I will make sure that I will also witness the so-called breathtaking sunrise at Lantau Peak.

A picture of lightheartedness
My weekend visit came at a rather sad time for the Yeung-Ting family. They were in mourning because Ama, my friend Ben's maternal grandmother, had just passed away the week before. Yet, the family was so kind to welcome me. Ate Rose accommodated me in her posh apartment which was located about five minutes away from the MTR station. On the other hand, Rowina lent me a mobile phone with a local SIM card. With these conveniences that the Ting sisters provided for me, I lost all chance to get lost in Hong Kong the Maleta Girl way. Hehehe.

Not to be outdone in kindness, Mr. and Mrs. Ting treated me to the authentic Hong Kong dimsum. I had met Ben's parents last December when they had spent a month-long vacation in Singapore. Much to Ben's surprise, even then, his mom had been nice and warm to me. I would jokingly explain to him that the reason for that is because: "Alam kasi ng mama mo na mabait ako."

Even at their time of loss, the family remained a picture of lightheartedness. During their family dinners which were always occasions for catching up and banter, the siblings would share funny anecdotes about the funeral traditions. I guess it also helped ease the burden of their heavy hearts to have little adorable Sophia around to shower everyone with cheery smiles and sweet kisses.

A few days after my trip, I was sorely disappointed to hear that Hong Kong lawmakers had voted to withdraw the Filipinos' visa-free access to the city. Sadly, the Hong Kong and Philippine governments may just never see eye to eye anymore after that hostage-taking incident of 2010. But that doesn't really matter. Ben and I will remain friends for life; no failed government relationships can change that.
 
I will still try to go back to Hong Kong where I know there are other adventures that still await Maleta Girl. (I still haven't gone to Ocean Park!) And the wonderful Ting family - of course, I'd like to meet them again. Thanks to them, Hong Kong became a notch lovelier the second time around.