Every now and then, a guy will be so smitten with her, promise her the moon and the stars, whilst showering her with gifts - flowers, chocolates, stuffed toys. Gentlemen will open the door for her, give up their seats in crowded buses and trains and carry her bags and things. And when she cries, a man will hand her his well-pressed handkerchief for her to wipe away the tears.
Ah. The life of a woman. In many ways, it is almost like the life of a princess. Not all women will have experienced all of that but you would think every woman will at least experience a little of that.
Not me, dear one. I've never experienced any of that.
I was a wallflower at high school dances, a Miss Average Plain Jane all throughout college and a nobody in the office. No debut party at 18 (not even at 30), no flowers and sweet things, no special treatment anywhere.
I do my own homework. I do my own shopping and carry my own bags. I squeeze myself in jeepneys and I stand in the crowded bus and train, side by side with the men. I travel to Europe on my own.
When I need to get something done or fixed, I do it myself or find a hired help by myself. When I need to be somewhere, I commute on my own or find a way to hitch myself a ride. Whenever I get sick, I take myself to the doctor and when I had the chicken pox and the flu, I nursed myself back to health. Whatever I would need or want, I get them for myself.
In short, I solve my own problems. I solve other people's problems too. And when I don't know what to do, well, I have to know what to do all the time.
"Lord, what about me?"
For years, I've wondered and asked God: "Lord, why do I have to do everything for myself? Why am I not like those other girls and women? Didn't I deserve the same? Didn't I deserve a bouquet of roses too? You are God. Surely, these things You can give to me in a snap."
But as you would have expected, God doesn't operate based on the challenges and threats a human being pose before Him. He isn't God for nothing, you know. For years, He kept quiet. Or so I thought.
In June last year, I attended the Princess Diaries (PD) weekend retreat. Reluctantly.
I had hesitations about attending the retreat in much the same way that I always have hesitations about reading self-help books. I don't like self-help books for two reasons: (1) What these books contain is common-sense knowledge that I already know; and, (2) The formulas in these books don't work unless I work on myself. Therefore, I think self-help books are overrated. And, in my mind, so was the PD retreat.
The PD retreat is basically about how every woman is God's precious princess. If you ask me the details of the retreat talks now, I wouldn't be able to tell you anything. I really don't remember much of it. I certainly didn't feel much like a princess for the most part of my life. One weekend didn't change that. The eight months that followed did.
Not less, only different
For years, I've wondered and asked God: "Lord, why do I have to do everything for myself? Why am I not like those other girls and women? Didn't I deserve the same? Didn't I deserve a bouquet of roses too? You are God. Surely, these things You can give to me in a snap."
But as you would have expected, God doesn't operate based on the challenges and threats a human being pose before Him. He isn't God for nothing, you know. For years, He kept quiet. Or so I thought.
In June last year, I attended the Princess Diaries (PD) weekend retreat. Reluctantly.
I had hesitations about attending the retreat in much the same way that I always have hesitations about reading self-help books. I don't like self-help books for two reasons: (1) What these books contain is common-sense knowledge that I already know; and, (2) The formulas in these books don't work unless I work on myself. Therefore, I think self-help books are overrated. And, in my mind, so was the PD retreat.
The PD retreat is basically about how every woman is God's precious princess. If you ask me the details of the retreat talks now, I wouldn't be able to tell you anything. I really don't remember much of it. I certainly didn't feel much like a princess for the most part of my life. One weekend didn't change that. The eight months that followed did.
Not less, only different
One afternoon of no particular significance, two realizations finally hit me. First, I was God's child, albeit loved differently. For many years too, I've struggled with jealousy for what I thought was my parents' preferential treatment for my younger brother. I had thought my parents gave him an easy time - he got new toys often and new schoolbooks and stuff, he had bigger weekly allowance, he picked on me and got away with it, he had his own way pretty much all the time.
With me, on the other hand, it was different. I had one Barbie doll and one play kitchen set and shared all other toys with the brother. I used borrowed schoolbooks and recycled old notebooks. I lived with my weekly allowance (I can't remember a time when I asked my parents for extra.). I finished all my homework and made sure I knew all my lessons because my mother wouldn't let me get away without a scolding if I didn't manage to answer all her review questions. I went home on time because I knew I had to be home on time. I did everything as told because I felt I was expected to do so or else there were consequences.
With me, on the other hand, it was different. I had one Barbie doll and one play kitchen set and shared all other toys with the brother. I used borrowed schoolbooks and recycled old notebooks. I lived with my weekly allowance (I can't remember a time when I asked my parents for extra.). I finished all my homework and made sure I knew all my lessons because my mother wouldn't let me get away without a scolding if I didn't manage to answer all her review questions. I went home on time because I knew I had to be home on time. I did everything as told because I felt I was expected to do so or else there were consequences.
Years later, I would realize that my parents were strict with me not because they loved me less but because they loved me differently. Somehow, the way they had loved me prepared me for what my life would become today - a life of independence that entailed a lot of self-discipline.
In much the same way, Father God loved me differently too. He gave me a good college education but I had to study hard to keep the scholarship. He gave me good-paying jobs but I had to work hard on them. He took me to see beautiful places around the world but I had to save up for the trips. What He could not make me hear from Him in prayer, He taught me as He fulfilled my dreams, one by one. His lesson: patience and faith - that none of my hard work was for naught, everything will happen at the right time - not necessarily my time - and that I only had to trust in Him.
What makes a princess a princess
The second realization I had was that I was a princess because my Father God is King, not because I had a prince charming by my side or a knight-in-shining armor coming to my rescue.
"For He will give His angels charge concerning you, to guard you in all your ways. They will bear you up in their hands, that you do not strike your foot against a stone." (Psalm 91:11-12) In the years I've lived away from home before I even turned 18, I have come to know that I've always been kept safe by the grace of God. I have travelled as far as Europe alone but not a pickpocket nor a petty thief had managed to harm me in any way. Even in the most desperate of situations like getting sick with chicken pox in a foreign land, racing time to catch a flight, losing my job or missing my train stop in Germany in the middle of the night, I have only received kindness from friends and strangers. Who needs rescuing when my Father God has always got me shielded by His armor of protection?
The second realization I had was that I was a princess because my Father God is King, not because I had a prince charming by my side or a knight-in-shining armor coming to my rescue.
"For He will give His angels charge concerning you, to guard you in all your ways. They will bear you up in their hands, that you do not strike your foot against a stone." (Psalm 91:11-12) In the years I've lived away from home before I even turned 18, I have come to know that I've always been kept safe by the grace of God. I have travelled as far as Europe alone but not a pickpocket nor a petty thief had managed to harm me in any way. Even in the most desperate of situations like getting sick with chicken pox in a foreign land, racing time to catch a flight, losing my job or missing my train stop in Germany in the middle of the night, I have only received kindness from friends and strangers. Who needs rescuing when my Father God has always got me shielded by His armor of protection?
The perfect date
A serenade, a bouquet of peach roses, a lovely dinner and a walk under the moonlight - that is what I'd call a proper date. But while no prince charming has ever done that for me, no less than His Majesty, the King has.
He has serenaded me with not just one song but with many musicals, "My Fair Lady", "Starlight Express", "Cinderella", "Annie", "The Sound of Music", "Wicked" and "Phantom of the Opera", among others. In the picturesque town of Heidelberg, He showered the roads I walked on with the loveliest of flowers. He took me to lovely dinners in the most romantic places. I could never have imagined walking under the moonlight in Paris, trekking up Montserrat and the tower of Cathedrale de Notre Dame, marvelling at the lush green of Batanes mountains, the pristine shores of Puerto Princesa and Caramoan, the magnificence of the Sydney Opera House, the quaintness of Fremantle and Salzburg, the old grandeur of Schloss Heidelberg, the mystery of Angkor Wat and the solemnity of St. Peter's Basilica.
Each time, He calls: "Arise, my darling, my beautiful one, and come with me. See! The winter is past; the rains are over and gone. Flowers appear on the earth; the season of singing has come, the cooing of doves is heard in our land. The fig tree forms its early fruit; the blossoming vines spread their fragrance. Arise, come, my darling; my beautiful one, come with me." (Song of Songs 2:10-13)
And as if He has not already taken her to the best dates ever, the King gave this princess a castle of her own.
A house. My house. Can you believe it, dear one?
When it finally sunk in that I did receive this blessing, I was in tears. My mother was in tears too; she remembered how, back in those days, my father and she had struggled with their finances to have the modest family house built part by part. Now we have a fully constructed house, just waiting and ready to be made into a home.
There's still the furniture and the appliances and the mortgage to worry about. However, with all that God has already provided for me, how can I still doubt that even those will be provided for in due time?
When told of the news about the house, my closest friends say the same thing with that same knowing smile that has become oh so familiar to me: "Isa na lang talaga ang kulang" to which I would laughingly reply: "Oo nga eh."
But really, our faithful God's provision is always enough. Walang kulang. Anybody else who comes along is a bonus to a cup that is already overflowing.
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| Say it with flowers |
He has serenaded me with not just one song but with many musicals, "My Fair Lady", "Starlight Express", "Cinderella", "Annie", "The Sound of Music", "Wicked" and "Phantom of the Opera", among others. In the picturesque town of Heidelberg, He showered the roads I walked on with the loveliest of flowers. He took me to lovely dinners in the most romantic places. I could never have imagined walking under the moonlight in Paris, trekking up Montserrat and the tower of Cathedrale de Notre Dame, marvelling at the lush green of Batanes mountains, the pristine shores of Puerto Princesa and Caramoan, the magnificence of the Sydney Opera House, the quaintness of Fremantle and Salzburg, the old grandeur of Schloss Heidelberg, the mystery of Angkor Wat and the solemnity of St. Peter's Basilica.
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| The way to a woman's heart |
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| How sweet it is to be loved by You! |
Each time, He calls: "Arise, my darling, my beautiful one, and come with me. See! The winter is past; the rains are over and gone. Flowers appear on the earth; the season of singing has come, the cooing of doves is heard in our land. The fig tree forms its early fruit; the blossoming vines spread their fragrance. Arise, come, my darling; my beautiful one, come with me." (Song of Songs 2:10-13)
And as if He has not already taken her to the best dates ever, the King gave this princess a castle of her own.
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| God's gift |
When it finally sunk in that I did receive this blessing, I was in tears. My mother was in tears too; she remembered how, back in those days, my father and she had struggled with their finances to have the modest family house built part by part. Now we have a fully constructed house, just waiting and ready to be made into a home.
There's still the furniture and the appliances and the mortgage to worry about. However, with all that God has already provided for me, how can I still doubt that even those will be provided for in due time?
When told of the news about the house, my closest friends say the same thing with that same knowing smile that has become oh so familiar to me: "Isa na lang talaga ang kulang" to which I would laughingly reply: "Oo nga eh."
But really, our faithful God's provision is always enough. Walang kulang. Anybody else who comes along is a bonus to a cup that is already overflowing.
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| Because my Father is a King |
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