God's time

09 Jan 2013

Dear one,

How long is God's time?

Ninety-nine days, x sad mornings, y failed interviews and one heartbreaking rejection.

In September 2012, while the SFC community was happily anticipating two wonderful events - Ate Dory and Kuya Bart's wedding and Blessed National Conference - I lost my job, not by choice nor by neglect but due to a company redundancy exercise.

The phenomenon of job loss is really nothing new; it happens and it has happened to a lot of people I know. It has never happened to me, though. I didn't have a manual for handling this situation. I wasn't ready.

Yet, in many ways, God had actually prepared me for what lay ahead. In 2011, my application for a personalized employment pass (PEP) had been approved; that meant I had six months (instead of just 30 days) to look for a new job. I had enough savings in the bank to support my living expenses for a considerable period of time. I had vowed to myself that I'd keep the tears at bay until the fifth month was over. After all, of what use are tears? I had time in my hands, I am mature, I am strong - I repeated these to myself like some sort of mantra.

The best preparation that God did, however, had nothing to do with my material needs. He had laid the ground for me to grow my relationships in this community. Aside from the love of my family, it was, in fact, these relationships that had supported me through that storm.

For no matter how strong I believed my self to be, inevitably, there were mornings I woke up finding no purpose to get out of bed. There were interviews that didn't go well and left me feeling inadequate. There was one final interview that went very well but then turned out to be another heartbreaking rejection. During those times of disappointment and self-doubt, it was my prayer warriors in the community who took over. To use the metaphor that Brother Gilbert Hamera himself had used in his sharing last January 2012, my prayer warriors were like the men in the gospel of Mark who did everything in their capacity to be able to carry the paralytic to Jesus. I was that paralytic.

Honestly, I have no idea how many other people in SFC had prayed for me apart from my household, my unit, the East Music Ministry, NOIDs, Mel, Bell and Apaule. I just know I have many earth angels who had knocked on, some may have even banged on, heaven's door for my sake.

I lost my job on September 3. I had a final interview on December 3, got a verbal job offer on December 6 and signed the appointment letter on December 10, five days before the Simbang Gabi even started. A turnaround of 99 days - that was how fast the prayers for me were answered. That was God's time.

In my blog entry last September 15, 12 days after I had lost my job, I had claimed that that all-time low point was my turn for God to work His miracle in my life. Indeed, it IS my turn this time and how generously the Lord has provided for me!

For all of these and all the other blessings that year 2012 has brought me and everyone dear to me, may our faithful God be praised.